


Jade

by SumiTen



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dimension Travel, Humor, Magic, Magicaldevices, Near Death Experiences, Odd, Possible Character Death, Self-Insert, The Author Regrets Everything, Violence, magical hair, shady deals, shameless self-insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-04-24 06:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19167856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SumiTen/pseuds/SumiTen
Summary: I didn't properly read the contract until after I woke up in the Land of Fire.All I have is some silly power and useless 'magical items.' This is a world full of ninja, what am I going to do with a magic mirror!?! Or a bloody compass that doesn't work!! Or a damn frying pan... Do I get awesome powers? No. My hair glows when I sing and I can speak with animals. That's bloody it.One fangirl's life turns upside down when's she sent to Naruto.





	1. The Contract I didn't read...

You have a agreed to obey the following rules and regulations, failure to follow these rules will result in immediate termination of this contract and you will be imprisoned in the void.

Rules:

You cannot kill the main character of the dimension.

You may not abuse, mistreat or maim in anyway the main character of this dimension.

You may not subject this world to global domination.

You may not eat dirt.

You may not have sexual intercourse with any animal.

You may not kill anyone under the age of eighteen.

You may not reveal this document to more than three people in the dimension, as we understand loneliness can be taxing on the human mind.

Under no circumstances are you permitted to age. Please note that age is not tracked, therefore you are placed and kept at an age of your own selection, failure to choose an age will default you to an age of our choosing. 12 to 18. 

**Please select age** ___

You will be given a random ability upon entering the world of your choice, P **lease select world** :__________________

You will be gifted the standard tools for the following: Navigation, Speculation, and Protection. These tools will be placed inside of your travel bag which you prepare within two days after signing the contract. On the third day you will be transported.

Please note that we are not responsible for any harm that may come to you, children you may leave behind, or spouses you may abandon at the end of the series. You will be dropped off in a random area at the begining of the timeline or pilot episode. Please note any difficulties that may ensure are not the responsibilities of the contractor. Should death befall you while in the dimension your body will be lost to your family forever as while you are away time will freeze and your world will be left frozen in time for eternity. Offspring may take your place should you die while present in the world. While in the world of your choosing please note the ability granted to you is based off of other abilities you've seen, and may originate from a world different from that one. If that is the case we do not take responsibility for any mishaps that may occur. Any negative damages done to the timeline of that world will result in side effects such as loss of life, genocides and butterfly effects. Please note that if you cause major harmful damage to the characters you will be terminated. Please note that termination will be instant. 

By signing on this contract you agree to these terms of service. Please circle yes if you agree.

YES NO

 

 

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**Very well then here we go...**

 

 


	2. I made a huge mistake....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade discovers she's been scammed.

The sun was high in the stay as birds chirps and the breezes made the leaves dance on the trees, the vast forest of trees taller than houses with twisting overhanging branches that allowed small rays of sunlight down through the thick vegetation.

On the forest floor lay a girl, around sixteen, with a few bags laying next to her, along with a scroll clenched tightly in her hand. The girl stirred, slowly awaking as she peered around the forest, before her eyes widened and she shot up, quick as a flash. She looked around at the large trees and the surrounding brush in quick, sharp movements, before she paused and reached toward her head, more specifically her hair as it caught her attention.

Her once brown hair had been turned blond, and had become very, very long, reaching the forest floor as she stood. After examining her hair, the girl plucked up the fallen scroll and looked through it again, before reaching for her bag.

She emptied it, revealing various supplies such as clothing, a water bottle, a water filter, a hunter's knife, matches, cords, her glasses, a flashlight, two notebooks, a book on herbs, a jacket, and hygiene supplies. But upon further inspection she discovered things she did not pack, such as a hand mirror, a frying pan, and a compass that she was pretty sure wasn't pointing north. She pocketed the compass, packing her things up again and grabbing a hair tie, she took in a deep breath, standing up and slinging the bag over her shoulder.

She knew were she was, she was in the Shinobi World. Her stomach fluttered and her heart filled with excitement. She braided her new long golden hair, and grabbed the frying pan.

It was time for an adventure of a lifetime.

* * *

Jade was nervous and excited, she was in the Shinobi world. How many times had she dreamed of going there? How many times had she watched the series? How many times had she wondered what kind of life she would be able to lead?

Jade was no fool, however, she knew better than to just expect to be allowed into Konoha, or anywhere near Naruto. She knew better than to believe she could meet him that easily, no, this was something that was going to take a lot of time and care.

A lot of care, Jade knew if she messed up, she could be killed or worse, she could cause the Tsukiyomi to actually work and fucked up any chance of peace between the nations. She didn't expect to be welcomed by anyone, in fact she would be disappointed if that were the case.

While she had no doubt that if she ever met Naruto, she would be able to get along with him, since, well, he's Naruto the lovable goofball, she doesn't expect to become best friends with any of the characters... she'll be lucky just to meet and know a few let along be able to call anyone of them friend.

No, expecting all the characters to become her friends would not be realistic at all. However, becoming an enemy of the main villains? Easy as pie. Surviving those villains? Not as easy, it's much easier for her to avoid anyone evil discovering her, especially since she doesn't know what kind of power she has, or if it's useful for defending herself.

Jade looked down at her golden hair.

Well, she has some idea what it is, though, she just hopes she's wrong and this is just her anime make-over. Rapunzel's magical hair isn't exactly what she had in mind when she read the idea of being in Naruto and having powers. Though, she suppose it could be worse, it could be like Elsa's uncontrollable ice magic, or something lame like talking to animals-

"Watch it!" A bird flew past her, barely missing the girl. Jade froze, and looked up at the bird, her eyes widening. "Sorry?" She asked. The bird looked down at her from it's spot in the trees. "What stupid human did you not see me or something? Tch, humans are such idiots." The bird chirped.

That's it. Her power was being doctor Doolittle. Jade glared at the bird. "I'm not stupid you jerk, you're the one who almost flew into me." The bird seemed to freeze as it's beak almost dropped. "W-wait! You can understand me, human?!" The bird chirped flying down. Jade nodded. "Yes, I can, and my name isn't human, it's Jade."

The bird stared at her. "You're a weird human, Jade, humans don't usually speak to birds."

"Yeah well... I do. Can you tell me what land this is?"

"Oh, humans call it the Land Of Fire." Jade cheered mentally, she was in a familiar country! Yay! She wasn't in a dangerous place! "Thank you." The bird cocked it's head, before flying away calling out, "I've gotta tell my friends about this!"

Jade watched the bird fly off, if she was animated she would be sweat dropping, but sadly even though she was in anime land, there was no actual anime. Everything looked real, but... well, more magical almost.

"If I can talk to bird, then what about my hair?" Jade wondered, holding her braid. She contemplated something for a second before letting out a sigh.

"Flower gleam and glow, let your powers shine, make the clock reverse bring back wha- HOLY FUCK IT'S GLOWING!" Jade watched as her hair lit up, glowing for a few moment before it stopped.

Jade began to sing the song again, watching in awe as it started to glow once again, before stopping soon after she finished singing. "This is... kinda cool." She let her hair swing back behind her looked at the compass. "Ok, you don't point north. Right... my hair glows I can talk to animals... that's all Disney stuff... compass... wait, as in Jack Sparrow's compass that points to the things you want the most?" Jade grinned, and pictured a lot of things, Konoha, Naruto, the Akatsuki, and suddenly the arrow came to life, spinning around and around.

Her mind finally settled on one thing, and the arrow pointed to her left, before something appeared on the lit, much to her surprise.

**20 miles.**

Jade nodded, now facing that direction... before turning around in the exact opposite direction walking at a quick pace.

"For my own safety and that of the world's it's best to go in the opposite direction." She told herself, and started walking, getting a small paranoid, yet gleeful feeling that she was so close. _Holy shit I need to get by butt moving... wait, is he getting closer?_ Jade watched as the number on the compass began to drop, lowering to 18, then 17... 

Jade started running. "Shit! This ain't good! Ah!" She cursed as she ran as fast her legs would carry her through the forest. "Fuck! If I meet him I'm dead! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" She tugged behind a tree, and looked at the compass again.

Fifteen.

_Please don't notice me, please don't notice me... please don't be close, please don't be close...._

It stopped at thirteen. Jade let out a sigh of relief. "Oh few, that was close." She said, leaning against the tree. Her heart had been racing a mile a minute thanks to that. She stood there, taking a breather to calm herself down, before a thought struck her. 

"Hey... I wonder if my mirror can spy on people..."

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**Well, there's chapter two, hope you like please leave review!  
**

 

 

 

 


	3. Mirror Mirror in my hand....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade spies on people.

"Come on! Work dammit! You can't honestly tell me this is an normal damn mirror." Jade stared at the small mirror in her hand, frustrated. She's spent the last several minutes putting distance between herself and the one her compass had pointed to, now that she was, once again, twenty miles away she stopped.

Also because her feet hurt like you would not believe. She sat, on a log near a small river or creek... she wasn't sure on terminology but it was like creek. Regardless she was sitting on the log trying to figure out how to activate the mirror.

"Mirror Mirror in my hand..." Jade tried again, this time going with a rhyme. "Show me the main character of the land." Suddenly the mirror glowed and revealed Konoha, Naruto was in ichiraku's, eating ramen. Jade leapt off the log cheering before sitting back down again, trying to think of another rhyme. "Mirror Mirror of hidden sight... show me the man who caused me such fright."

The image flickered, instead revealing a dark room underground, filled with scrolls. Jade blinked, staring at the mirror before she spotted him reading through one of the scrolls, eyes flickering over it before setting it down and moving onto another one. Candle light allowed Jade to get a look at his face.

Golden eyes lined with purple against pale skin framed by black hair... yep, this was Orochimaru. Jade stared at him almost transfixed, before trying to make out what he was reading. She couldn't, and instead decided to just sit there amused over the fact that she was currently spying on an S-rank criminal, and he is none the wiser.

She has exact location now, actually, finding anyone like this would be a piece of cake. Though, she didn't particularly want to go anywhere near him, seeing as he'd probably either kill her or lock her up.... and take her stuff, and Orochimaru with these tools... that was a scary thought.

Jade put the mirror in her pocket, the image still on Orochimaru (she wasn't sure how to turn it off) she continued on her way to get as far away from the snake man as possible.

She tested the compass and mirror a few more times, trying for different places but it was no use, the compass could only point to people. The mirror, could also only show people, so she had to navigate based of where she new certain people were. Orochimaru was in nope direction, Konoha was in run there if you need help direction, and then everywhere else was either Akatsuki (fuck that) Sand (Hell nah) and Kumo (I don't wanna die).

 So that left just... wondering around... Jade actually wasn't quite sure what to do. Based off her ability to see what the character were doing, she'd say graduation either just happened or is about to happen... Zabuzza and Haku are still alive so she might just go to Wave and wait for the plot to arrive, though it would be risky. Once there she would have to swear off any use of her tools and powers. At least until she heals them.

Oh, yes, she's going to offer aid to Team Seven via her magical healing hair services. They will see her Kekkei Genkai and maybe decide to take her to Konoha...where she might be able to help more people while also playing dumb, though it would limit her freedom.

She doubted with the kids there Kakashi would force her to go, he seemed like the type to respect the decision of someone who's primary excuse for not going would be that they don't trust Shinobi. (Don't trust old men with eye patches and who is a son of a bitch, that is). Whether or not she'd want to go... yeah they might take her stuff... and she doesn't want to be in Konoha when Orochimaru attacks it, being a civilian and all, interacting with homicidal snake men are just not good for her health.

Even if said snake men is one of her favorite characters. What? Yeah he's evil, but come on he's hilarious to watch interacting with... just anything, actually. 

Pulling out her compass she closed her eyes and pictured the Bridge Builder Tazuna. He was the safest person to use as directions. Haku and Zabuzza are not safe to approach until they've been talk-no-jutsu'd. She hoped she would able to get to them in time in order to heal them.

The compass turned from the direction that Orochimaru was in, pointing towards the direction of where Tazuna was located. Jade started forward, ready to keep moving. She had a goal now, in mind.

She would do what she can to save as many people as possible. If possible.

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**So sorry the chapter was so short, tell me what you think of Jade in the comments!**

 

 

 


	4. Meeting the Ninja

_**Days Later...** _

Jade grinned, standing in front of the village soaking went as water dripped down her face. She's swam her way to the island, holding driftwood above her head to hide herself with her stuff hidden under some leaves and seaweed on the driftwood.

Honestly it seemed like a good idea at the time, but then she almost drowned a few times... so maybe not as good as she thought, but she's hear.

She slipped into the woods, changing herself quickly into the most Naruto native clothing she'd thought to bring along, before through her cloak on. Yes, she had a cloak, is was one of the clothing options she had. Honestly it was a Jedi cloak she'd gotten from goodwill one time, but it would work to hide her hair and the fact that she was a woman on first sight.

She wasn't just hitchhiking anymore, after all, she didn't want to draw attention to herself. Her hair would do just that, and she'd bee in trouble.

Jade stepped into town, taking a deep breath, and pulling her hood down. Looking around her she saw a town stricken by poverty- these people were obviously starving, and some people were giving her looks. Jade hurried along, being sure to watch her bag and the people around her for pick pockets. She had her frying pan at the ready, hidden under her cloak.

Spying around, she slipped into an ally, and after making sure nobody was watching she pulled out her mirror. "Mirror Mirror of the hidden peak, show me the person I wish to seek."

 Naruto, Kakashi, Sakura and Sasuke were here, they were sitting together eating... well the other were eating, Naruto and Sasuke were having eating competition.

Jade grinned, watching them before slipping the mirror back into her pocket, before looking at her compass. It pointed her there direction, and she moved through the streets before finally finding the small home by the docks, catching sight of a boy dressed in orange. She watched him as he spoke with the pink hair girl, who stood in the doorway, he walked in. 

Jade stood there, debating over leaving or walking over when someone spoke. "Hello there, is there a reason why your spying on us?" A voice spoke from behind her. Jade let out an undignified squeak before jumping away from the source of the voice, holding up a frying pan. Her hood fell down and her hair tucked up inside spilled down over her shoulders reaching the ground. "Back off Shinobi or I will use this!" She spoke in a threatening tone.

Kakashi raised his hands in a mock surrender. "Calm down, I just want to know why your watching my team." Jade studied his face, scanning him for a minute while her heart started to feel normal again after the mini heart attack he gave her. She lowered her frying pan slowly, but still kept a tight grip on it.

She knew Kakashi wasn't an evil dude and wasn't likely to really hurt her, but she wasn't suppose to know him, and she didn't normally trust strangers... especially strangers with a body count.

"I wasn't watching your team, I was checking to see if the bridge builder was alright."

"Do you know him?" Asked Kakashi. Jade shook her head. "We've never met, no, but I've heard of the bridge he's building and that it's pissing off Gato. Your Shinobi hired to protect him right?" She asked.

Kakashi nodded. "We're protecting him, yes. Why do you care, you don't look like your from here." He said, glancing down at her groomed appearance, necklace, new looking clothing and shoes. Jade shook her head. "I'm a healer who travels around helping people. I came here to see if the rumors about wave were true and I've been gathering as much information as I can about the situation."

"Really? You're a healer?" Kakashi asked, before humming. "What kind of information have your gather, if you don't mind me asking." Jade crossed her arms. "I don't just tell people things, especially people I just met, and I don't even know you as trustworthy. Shinobi in small nations like this never ends well, because then more Shinobi just end up getting hired to fight those Shinobi, and then you have a higher risk of civilian casualties as a result of the conflict, and the stronger the Shinobi the worse it is, because they always do more damage." Jade said.

It was one common theme going through the Naruto series, ninja fights meant more destruction. "That's an interesting point of view, so you don't like Shinobi?" He asked.

Jade bit her lip for a moment trying to think. Did she like Shinobi? Honestly, not exactly. They were amazing, but she didn't like the fact that, in reality, a lot off them were children, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke were all just twelve. She didn't like the indoctrination process of dying for the village, and she didn't like how the village doesn't even trying to protect children from going to war when there is one.

She really doesn't like the Third Hokage, but she'll get to that later.

"I don't agree with their methods, and I certainly don't trust them." Jade explained. She heard shouting from inside the house. "Sounds like your team is having a disagreement, I better get going." She walked away, Kakashi watching as she left. 

As soon as she was sure she was out of the Shinobi's sight, both checking her compass and her surroundings, Jade let out a squeal, jumping around before calming down with a grin on her face.

She just met THE Kakashi Hatake. And told him she didn't trust him. Hehe... well, that wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either. She didn't trust as far as telling him the truth goes, but she does trust that he is a good person.

She met Kakashi though, that is enough to make her happy because she met a main character who wasn't and didn't die immediately. This was her one chance to actually meet the gang though, from now on she should be careful about running into them since Kakashi was aware of her, she can't seek them out to many times, or he might get suspicious.

 _But I still can't believe I just met Kakashi..._ Yeah she wasn't getting over that one soon.

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**So... I'm open to shipping suggestions... just saying...  
**

**Please Review!**

 


	5. Things are moving fast and she has a convient excuse

_I have to move._

Her heart beat out of her chest as she ran towards the bridge, taking deep breaths as she tried to reach her destination.

_I won't let them die! I need to change this fate!_

Running at full speed she held no regard for the foggy mist or the sudden spike of the killing intent that almost suffocated her, she came to a stop, searching for them. Then she saw them, Kakashi's arm lit up as the chidori spun to life. Her eyes widened and she ran forward, throwing herself towards the Shinobi.

Kakashi's eyes widened as he saw the girl to his left, but his jutsu was in progress and he couldn't move as she ran forward. Haku moved before her, putting himself in between the Chidori and Zabuza. Jade let out a yell as the chidori connected.

"Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine!" Jade sang, kneeling next to Haku. "What the-" Zabuza was cut off by her singing as she placed her hair on the boy. _Please don't let it be to late, please.._ She begged the universe to let her not be to late.

She finished her song and her hair stopped glowing. She looked at Haku, as slowly, the boy took in a breath. Jade let out a sigh of relief, before standing up. "I am Jade." She introduced herself to Zabuza. "This boy should be just fine now, though he'll need some rest." She turned to Kakashi. "Hello again Shinobi-san, I'm sorry for interrupting your battle, but I thought Momochi-san should be made aware of something before any outcome was decided." She turned to Zabuza. "Gato was never planning to pay you, and he's coming to make sure you die, he should be hear in about... now."

She pointed in the direction Gato was coming, and sure enough as the wind blew the fog away there stood Gato. "Gato... what is the meaning of this..?" Zabuza questioned. Gato laughed. "I was never going to pay you, I hoped that you Shinobi would kill each other off, to bad that girl interfered." Behind him stood several dozen men. Jade wanted to laugh at his idiocy.  

_Did he really think he was safe, against Shinobi- against these Shinobi?_ She shook her head, ignoring Gato's speech as she walked away to find Sasuke, finding the boy not to far away covered in needles.

"Flower gleam and glow.." She plucked out the needles as she healed the Uchiha, who was still unconscious. _Amazing to think of what the future will hold for this boy. He's gonna go through a lot of hell... hatred... it's so strange looking at him now knowing what he will become.  
_ Jade thought as her hair worked through his wounds, healing every wound.

Naruto ran over to them upon realizing where she was heading, stopped a few feet away as Jade finished her song. "Right, he'll be fine." She turned to finally meet the chosen one. Sasuke groaned, opening his eyes, Naruto grinned. "Sasuke!" Sasuke blinked, looking back and fourth between Naruto and Jade. Sakura ran over yelling Sasuke's name with tears in her eyes.

Jade kept herself from rolling her eyes as she stood, deciding to check on Zabuza, who was not looking good. "Need a healer?" She walked over to Zabuza. Zabuza looked at her, looking confused and suspicious. "Why did you save Haku?" He asked. "Just what does any of this have to do with you?"

"Nothing, but that doesn't mean I won't help. Hey you to Kakashi, get over here. I healed the Sasuke kid by the way, he'll be fine. Here, both of you grab a piece of my hair." She handed a piece to Kakashi, and let a piece lay over Zabuza's shoulder, she started to sing again.

They both felt there pain slowly fade and there strength return as her song finished, she tugged her hair away and smiled at them. "Now my work is done... you two aren't gonna fight anymore, right?" Jade asked, pulled her hair back as she did spoke. Zabuza and Kakashi looked at each other. "There is no need to fight anymore." Zabuza said.

"Ma, I don't see a reason to either." Kakashi replied. Jade grinned. "Excellent!"

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**Sorry if the chapter seems rushed, haven't watched the arc in a while, and frankly it's not my favorite one either. Reviews are magic!  
**


	6. In Konoha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jade gets to go to Konoha!

Jade held the biggest smile on her face upon the sight of the large gates as she walked through with the gang. She had been super hesitant about actually going to Konoha, but after being _invited_ , how could she possibly refuse that easy option, that easy in?

It would be, technically, safer. Much safer in Konoha as opposed to the outside world, it would give her a better idea of what was going on, the timeline. She knew that she had until Naruto's seventeenth birthday, or a few days before, until the Tsukiyomi thing would happen. So all hell would break loose through September through October once Shippuden started.

She wasn't sure how long it was, though, how long the time skips between arcs were. But she would have a better idea once the Akatsuki made there move, then she could just use Naruto's birthday as a time estimator.

Upon arriving at Konoha, she checked herself into a hotel... yes, she had money. She got it from healing people in Wave after Gato was killed. She didn't charge them a stupid amount of money, children were free, of course.

Overall on the whole village she made enough to get by. She would have to pick up a job in Konoha and told Kakashi as such, actually that was one of the first things she asked him, if she went to Konoha she wasn't sure how she would make a living. Kakashi suggested working in the hospital, and also told her if she decided to live in Konoha then she would be protected, as her Kekkei Genkai would surely draw unwanted attention.

For now all she could afford to eat was ramen.... ironically. It was the cheapest thing she could afford, but she didn't mind. Ichiraku's was delicious.

Now she would be lying if it was all fun and games... she was paranoid, and that wasn't a fun feeling. A bubbling sensation in her gut, and in worst cases her legs and arms would feel like noodles, shaky and useless. She would get dizzy and her chest would tighten.

She expected this- after all she was being watched all the time and if she said or did the wrong thing they might literally kill her. So she did yoga to calm her nerves.

It didn't help as much, but she did get more flexible so that was a plus. 

Though the most challenging thing was probably caring for her long hair. Honestly it was a mess once she'd gotten around to actually washing it, and it took a whole bottle of shampoo and conditioner. Then brushing it out usually took about an hour and half, then putting it back into a braid, or sometimes two braids.

She got a job, to, after meeting the Hokage who had heard of her from Kakashi by then. She was to act as medical assistance at the Hospital- this was fine though it meant she would become well known, which could be risky. Though she already used her hair for profit on the road so at least in the village the Shinobi would protect her if anyone tried to kidnap her to use her hair.

The downside to that deal is that it would be easier for the likes of, say, Orochimaru to find out she existed, which wouldn't be ideal for her, no, she could only hope she's overlooked by the Sannin.

However, with her luck, that most likely would not be the case.

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**Sorry for the short chapter, having a hard time finding inspiration- but don't worry! I won't abandon this fic. Reviews are Magic!  
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